


Stained

by tommotopper



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 03:05:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15161132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommotopper/pseuds/tommotopper





	Stained

it started, the withdrawals. i'm pretty sure this isn't going too well. my hands shake violently, and i slowly lose grip of the sink. i slide to the floor, praying for a break from this hell. i think about grabbing my phone and calling him, but there's no point. he wouldn't answer.  
he decided he wanted to stop, and i couldn't, to be honest. he left because of my weakness, and i died inside because he was gone.  
my friend, zayn, tried to help. he did. i really shouldn't label him as "friend" though.

more like, "boy i really like and used to give sloppy, high school blowjobs to", but no time for labels.  
zayn walked through the door and saw me on the floor. he shouted, but it sounded like hushed whispers in my ears. i look up to see zayn's face over me. i smile and give myself to the pain. i wake up about an hour later in zayn's arms. i look up at him, and i wipe his face. he frowns down at me and i shrug shyly.

"i can't stand seeing you this way, anderson." zayn frowns.

"i'm trying, zayn. really, i am." it's true, i do try. it just gets harder somedays. relapse is not an option for zayn. relapse is a way out for me.

"i know he meant a lot to you, andy. but you have to let go of him-"

"you don't understand, zayn. i loved him. this is all his fault. he brought this hell to me. so, please, please don't act like you know what i'm going through." i cut him off, shouting. he looks down, but i don't regret anything i said.  
"

i'm sorry." he whispers.

"yeah, well, me too." i walk past him to my bedroom. i lay on the bed and wait for the weight of zayn to push down on the bed. i smile softly when it does. he lays one hand on my waist and settles behind me. his breath stays warm on my skin, and the goosebumps form on my pale arms. i hold his hand and sigh happily. one day this will have meaning, and i'll be happy. his phone vibrates and he sighs.

"hello?" he answers in my ear. i wait for him to continue to talking. "yeah, we're still on for tonight... no, don't worry, i'll pick you up on time... i'm with a friend... no, she's just a friend, alison... yes, i'll see you tonight... bye." he ends the call. i turn around as he slips his phone back into his pocket.

"alison? the one girl i said not to go date. really, zayn?" i fake a laugh.

"what?" he chuckles. "she's really nice. she isn't a bitch like you said."

"obviously we have different definitions of a bitch." i turn around and sit up.

"i'm taking her to that one bar by the lake. i heard it's really good there." he shares his plans for the evening while i stand up and walk to my dresser. i take off my boots, and unbutton my pants.

"turn." i say to zayn.

"aw, come on. nothing i haven't seen." he whines.

"well, now you have a girlfriend. no more free shows, zayn." i explain. he sighs and covers his eyes with a pillow. i take off my pants and shirts, putting on my shorts and one of zayn's old shirts that he used for painting. "okay, you can look now." i announce my finishing and sit on the bed again.

"that's my shirt." he smiles, and i blush softly.

"it is. good job." i sarcastically state before i say something awkward. he chuckles, standing up from the bed. i look at the digital clock on my bedside table. 7:56 pm. "i guess it's time to go pick your girlfriend up," i state looking up at him. he nods, frowning slightly.

"i'll be back later tonight." he shares.

"don't bother coming back if you've fucked her. you know the rules," i sigh, laying on my back. he comes and kisses my forehead, then leaves my room. i hear the door close downstairs and i sit up quickly, wiping the tears falling from my eyes. it's been fucking 10 years since i've met the lad, and it's been 8 years since i've liked him. he's completely oblivious to the fact that i like him. the blowjobs are obviously no clue.

'hope everything is going great, remember the rule. xx' i groan as i hit send. i put my laptop to charge and lay back in my bed. i get comfortable, closing my eyes. i hope i'll be waking up to a sneaky zayn getting into my bed and he hopefully won't stay with the whore.

i wake up the next morning to a knock on the door. i groan and roll over, feeling the emptiness next to me. i open my eyes wide, holding back the tears. the knocking continues at the door and i get up, putting my shorts on. walking down the stairs, i rub my eyes to rid of the tears and tiredness. i look at the clock on the wall above the tv. it's 9:32 am. i open the door to a cheery brother and a cheery brother's boyfriend.

"hi, harry. hi, brother." i groan. louis charges in, dragging harry in with him.

"good morning to you, too. where is the tanned god?" louis chuckles and plops down onto the couch.  
i shrug, "you know the rule. he wasn't here in the morning." louis frowns and harry frowns as well. "let's not with the pity party," i groan.

"no pity party, just upset that he isn't here." harry tries to explain.

"upset who's not here?" zayn walks in, having opened the front door with his key. i should really take that back. i don't know.

"zayn!" louis exclaims and gets up, running to the lad and hugging him. "it's been a while, yeah?"

"hey, guys." he smiles and wraps his arms around my brother, then kisses my head. harry waves at him, turning to look at me. i sit down next to him and lay my head on his shoulder.

zayn and louis chat in the kitchen, while harry and i start watching the second season of american horror story.  
harry doesn't do much. he sits and watches tv with me, which i am entirely grateful for. he has helped me a lot. harry was always around the house, following louis like a lost puppy. we were in the same year, and we were always partners in projects so it could give him an excuse to come to my house and stare at my brother. louis grew fond of harry's curiosity and green eyes. they've been dating since harry and i were 15. he is 20 now, and i'm 19 now. he's older than me by 3 months, my birthday being in may.  
my head was in harry's lap when the other two boys decided to come join us. it's 10:58 am. i sit up when louis takes his rightful spot next to harry. zayn sits in the love seat, and i observe his features from my seat. his hair is tossed selfishly and his neck is littered with the whore's lips.

it’s almost half past noon when he speaks up, "i'm hungry, guys. let’s go eat."

"i've got to get dressed." i look down at the shirt splattered with zayn's creativity and my shorts. the boys nod and i walk to my room. i take off my pajamas, searching through my drawers for clothes. i decide on jeans and a tank top, letting my hair down while i look at the outfit in my bedroom mirror. i walk downstairs, sliding on my sandals.

"who's car are we taking?" i ask at the door.

"your jeep. i'm driving apparently." harry sighs playfully. i nod, pushing them out so i can lock the door. i climb into the back seat while zayn and louis argue over the front seat. louis wins and zayn gets in next to me.

"i've just kind of wanted pancakes." louis announces. "to the diner!" we all groan because that's where we go all of the time. "oh god, you guys shut up." he chuckles.

we get to the diner and we walk in. sitting in the same booth, the same order. louis and harry across from me and zayn. patty, the waitress, walks to us even though she knows our orders haven't changed. i have a grilled cheese with the curly fries and a water. zayn has the bacon burger with the sprite. harry gets french toast and eggs. and of course louis gets the most, he's got pancakes, eggs, sausage, and hashbrowns. we get a pitcher of orange juice for everyone, but harry ends up drinking it all.

zayn goes on about his date last night and how romantic it was as we eat our food. i try to control my eye rolling but it doesn't really work. harry sees how annoyed i was getting and he changes the subject. he goes on about going to classes for the summer, talking about how he doesn’t feel like doing much for this semester. i agree and make a note to plan more out with harry. zayn explains how he is too badass to go to classes while my brother laughs at us, bragging that he's out of uni.

later on after harry and lou have gone back home, i sit on the couch watching music videos on demand. zayn plops down next to me, making a comment on my poor choice in music, but of course i shrug it off. "so, how was your date really?" i already regret the question and this time harry isn't here to change the subject.

"it was pretty good. she really enjoyed it. i did too. the bar had good food and stuff." i nod, smiling at him. "look i'm sorry for not coming back last night." he sighs and looks over at me. "i wasn't planning to stay, it just happened."

"oh, no. it's totally fine. i went to bed pretty early anyways." i shrug, trying not to choke up.

"okay, but we can cuddle now." he laughs and holds out his arms. i lay in between them and he wraps them around me.

 

 

i can't get used to this. at all.


End file.
